Am I still me living with M.E by Farah Leah Summers
Am I still me living with M.E
When the waves of pain
Wash over pretty relentlessly
When I struggle to walk
Which used to be
A source of joy & peace to me
Am I still me living with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
I struggle to find
The words I want
(& mix them up when brain fog clouds me)
Noises are often way too loud Including music
Which is a huge passion of mine
And an integral part of me
But I don’t feel like me with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
It’s friend vertigo has me swaying
Like I’ve partaken of a Jim Beam
Or perhaps a Jack Daniels
As that’s definitely cruelty free
But I don’t drink alcohol
It’s a no-go zone
It compounds things (Unnecessarily)
Am I still me living with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
I get so exhausted after doing
The simplest of things
This came on after a different
Inflammatory ‘health challenge’
And they ran the gambit of tests
To find out
Why my body had decided
It could no longer manage
Am I still me living with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
Also known as Chronic fatigue
Which is a misleading name
As that’s just one symptom
(& one facet of the condition)
Part of a much bigger whole
There’s so much about
This ‘health challenge’
They still don’t know
I’m a different me with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
My body often won’t cooperate
Even though I try & take it steady
And I do my best to ‘pace’
It feels much older than its years
And is often overcome
This ‘friend’ has been with me
Since the age of 31
It was caused by trauma & DV
I guess I have to acknowledge
However painfully
I’m a different me with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
I’m a fraction of the active person
I used to be (Physically)
I can no longer abseil
Down buildings or do walks
Or runs for charity
The endless pain & inability
Is exhausting & confronting
To say the least
Not quite me living with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
It’ was originally called Yuppie flu’
And is still not taken seriously
But to give you an idea
of both its severity & gravity
Quality of life is less than those
Undergoing chemo or living
With end stage HIV
So although misunderstood
It needs to be treated respectfully
A frustrated me living with M.E
Am I still me living with M.E
At times I feel angry
With my body
It rarely cooperates with me
But I’m more than just a body
There’s a soul inside of me
So although I’m very changed
My core essence remains
I’m still me albeit
Not quite the same
Living with M.E